GeekyGryffindork: Hahahah
GeekyGryffindork: Dave, do you remember that place from when you were a child?
IsoDavonix: Yes...
IsoDavonix: *cries* there were wolves everywhere
GeekyGryffindork: aww. and your mommy and daddy came and saw you and went. HEY. I ALWAYS WANTED A PET MONKEY.
IsoDavonix: well youve never seen a naked baby picture of me.
Yeah, you can totally tell we love each other.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Bills, Chills, and OH MY GOSH REALLY?
There is more good news in my life!
I am PREGNANT.
Okay, maybe not. But now that I have your attention, I can continue.
In Kenzieopia, money isn't a concern. She spends without thinking on ridiculous things that retain her interest for only five minutes.
However, Kenzieopia was recently corrupted. I was forced to come back to the real world because I am an adult. And as an adult, I have bills that need to be paid. Horrible things, those bills. They fly around my head, screeching like Howlers until I give up and surrender my money. It's like being mugged every month.
I was looking at giving my cellphone up in favor of paying my six hundred car insurance payment. Let me remind you, this is for a car that is in New York while I'm in Illinois. You can imagine my resentment about paying it, but that doesn't mean I can skip.
Along with that, I now have a monthly $120 payment for student loans. Sixty more than what it was last month. Still, it can't be helped.
Alas, I was biting my nails hoping that I'd just barely be able to pay all of this month after a month vacation. Good fortune struck via my mother becoming old!
Yes, my mother is now old. That old where you're still considered to be a safe driver, but very close to the old where you need to get tested again. The old where your car insurance drops two hundred dollars. The old where your daughter thanks you for this, but you don't remember five minutes later because you may be going senile.
Now, this good news benefits a lot of people other than I. First, this means that my boyfriend is getting a Snorlax Beanbag Chair for his Birthvalenversary. Custom made, might I add.
But, dear readers, this benefits you too! I'm going to at least one book signing in February and getting a spare book! I'll be having a contest where one of you will win said signed book! And all will rejoice in Kenzieopia.
:)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Professors and Fragments
To Clarify, the last post was everything running through my mind while I sat on the train.
Now, to move on.
I've survived my first week of second semester well enough. I'm deep into assignments already and wishing that it was less than eight weeks before Spring Break.
Here's the breakdown of my professors:
Speech 110: MW at 9:30 am. Originally my professor came off as someone who is going to be a tough grader and ridiculously hard. I'm reconsidering now. We certainly have a lot of points at stake, but I don't think that she'll take points off for my inarticulate bumbling through the first two speeches. She's super peppy, something that I don't admire during my only morning class. I was there early and caught it when she had to erase her Mrs and put Ms. Along with the fact that she's totally abandoned caring that her hair is two different colors, I've deduced that she's probably going through divorce. I predict a hefty breakdown mid-semester.
Writing 102: MW at 3 pm. Blonde, tall, and lean. She tries way too hard to come across as cool, attempting to tell us that she knows that we never read and have no idea what literature is. Instead, she comes off complete patronizing. That's just to me. The guy behind me who thought that Shakespeare is a title and not an author obviously makes her point. She's more than willing to help look at papers before hand and I heard she is not a tough grader. Kept mentioning that we can't have spelling and grammar mistakes. I had to stop myself from laughing since her syllabus was filled with them.
Political Science: MW 4:15 pm. He seems nice. I seemed like I was on drugs. Could not concentrate during his class and acted like I was on speed. It won't be hard to get an A in there, but I really haven't judged his character yet.
Genetics: TR 1:30 pm. Old man comes in dressed in jeans and tshirt. Hasn't taught in 6th years. Has decided that this is now an ethics class and fuck science. None of us are science majors, so who cares? His goal is to get us screaming at each other and yearning for blood. Makes comments on sex life of students regularly. Is absolutely amazing.
Literature 100: TR 3 pm. Ah, Amir. I'm terrified of him because I admire him. I've heard he's a tough grader, but more than willing to come and help you out if you ask. Is constantly in the library and best friends with my boss. Has gotten me to switch majors. Will probably be my advisor.
Well, that's the list, guys. Let's hope this goes smoothly.
Now, to move on.
I've survived my first week of second semester well enough. I'm deep into assignments already and wishing that it was less than eight weeks before Spring Break.
Here's the breakdown of my professors:
Speech 110: MW at 9:30 am. Originally my professor came off as someone who is going to be a tough grader and ridiculously hard. I'm reconsidering now. We certainly have a lot of points at stake, but I don't think that she'll take points off for my inarticulate bumbling through the first two speeches. She's super peppy, something that I don't admire during my only morning class. I was there early and caught it when she had to erase her Mrs and put Ms. Along with the fact that she's totally abandoned caring that her hair is two different colors, I've deduced that she's probably going through divorce. I predict a hefty breakdown mid-semester.
Writing 102: MW at 3 pm. Blonde, tall, and lean. She tries way too hard to come across as cool, attempting to tell us that she knows that we never read and have no idea what literature is. Instead, she comes off complete patronizing. That's just to me. The guy behind me who thought that Shakespeare is a title and not an author obviously makes her point. She's more than willing to help look at papers before hand and I heard she is not a tough grader. Kept mentioning that we can't have spelling and grammar mistakes. I had to stop myself from laughing since her syllabus was filled with them.
Political Science: MW 4:15 pm. He seems nice. I seemed like I was on drugs. Could not concentrate during his class and acted like I was on speed. It won't be hard to get an A in there, but I really haven't judged his character yet.
Genetics: TR 1:30 pm. Old man comes in dressed in jeans and tshirt. Hasn't taught in 6th years. Has decided that this is now an ethics class and fuck science. None of us are science majors, so who cares? His goal is to get us screaming at each other and yearning for blood. Makes comments on sex life of students regularly. Is absolutely amazing.
Literature 100: TR 3 pm. Ah, Amir. I'm terrified of him because I admire him. I've heard he's a tough grader, but more than willing to come and help you out if you ask. Is constantly in the library and best friends with my boss. Has gotten me to switch majors. Will probably be my advisor.
Well, that's the list, guys. Let's hope this goes smoothly.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Brain Vomit
I don't know if that's necessarily true; I don't remember anything before three years old, but I really doubt that I have been. My family stopped moving around as much a few years before I was born. I kind of wish I had been on a train before this. It would have eased the butterflies that filled my stomach while I waited.
I'm really surprised at the lack of security. I mean, you need to basically have a DNA test to prove that your license is in fact you to get on an airplane these days. I just handed them a piece of paper, they tore it, and I boarded the train. Sat where I wanted. No bag checks, no pat downs, no inappropriate groping that goes along with flying. I suddenly remember why I chose to take the sixteen hour train over the new TSA rules. Well, there was also the giant gap in prices, but you get my point.
I didn't cry when leaving this time. I need to cry. This week has been Hell on the emotions. I'll break down in Illinois. No need to put that stress on Dave when he's been so good with me this week.
I guess I should fill you in, since I haven't posted in awhile. I got the phone all from Pennsylvania last night. Pap died around 11:30 pm, January 15. The family was going through pictures when they called. I wish I was there. Mom had called me hysterically crying, wanting to hear my voice, just hours before. It's never like that. It was terrifying.
Mom made excuses for me not being there to Pap. Made excuses to Zak, too. Maybe I'm too judgmental, but he should have been there. He could have gotten the time off. He has over four thousand in savings, since the baby isn't coming. I think I'm just slightly mad. I would have gone if I could. I wasn't allowed to because it would have been impossible for me to get to Illinois and catch up on everything if I skipped the first week and a half. But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm missing my grandfather's funeral. I feel terrible and there is nothing that can be done to change it.
I lied. I'm probably going to break down on the train and freak out all of the passengers who are sitting nearby.
Dad and Missy left Thursday morning. Dad misses me like crazy. We both hate the fact that I have to go back. It's just not fair. There is no way I can do another semester at Benedictine after this. I can't keep leaving. It's too hard.
Sam came over to distract me with Burger King and Doctor Who on Thursday night. We slept in my parents bed and probably made a mess. I doubt I'll get in trouble for it, though. Too much going on for them to get mad at me.
Dani emailed me my schedule, giving me twenty hours a week because she rocks. Another girl, Geenu, only had seven and a half. She asked for my two hour shift on Thursdays. I gave it to her. I know what it's like to be making such a small amount of cash. I called Dad to let him know before I did it, though, so he'll understand when I'm a few dollars short of my insurance payment next month. Or three days late.
I stayed at Dave's Friday and Saturday night. I'm happy I did. I finally loosened up around his dad. His dad is really critical of him. Some of it I can understand, but I wish he'd do it in a way that would offer encouragement rather than condemnation. I've only been on the train for an hour and I already miss him so much. How am I going to get through the next nine weeks?
His dad mentioned me and Dave getting a place together after he graduated. Nothing could have made me happier. A year ago, Dave's mom was insisting that it was a mistake that Dave was buying me a prom ticket because we might break up. Now they're accepting that Dave and me are going to be together, if not forever, for a long while. I think mostly they just use me for a motivational tool, though. “Dave, if you don't get good grades, you and Kendra won't be able to afford a place together!” It's alright. As long as I'm accepted, I'm happy.
I've been avoiding calls from a venue I was looking at for the wedding. They always call at the most inopportune times. The first, when I was at the bank signing papers for my student loan and then the second time while I was in the car preparing to leave New York for this train.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Relaxing
It's hard to remember in the moment, but even the toughest times get better.
All morning, I ran about the house doing chores. Showering, laundry, dishes, baking, and the like. Dave came over around two and comforted me with his presence. I love having him around. He makes me happy and knows how to calm me down when I get irrationally frightened.
Dad came home about a half hour later to drag us to the bank. I deposited my forty bucks and got the check for my loan. That's all good and settled. One giant step down.
Also, dad gave me his credit card to basically last me through getting basic food supplies and my textbooks while everyone is in Pennsylvania. I'm trustworthy enough that I won't do something absolutely stupid, like buy property on Pluto. That's giant thing two that's been solved.
Dave, Missy, and I spent the night making chicken parmigiana. Between the three of us, it came out really well. I didn't like the sauce we chose, but most of us are short on cash and there wasn't much choice.
Dave and I spent the hour after goofing around until he had to leave. He left with the promise that he'll pick me up tomorrow and not let me spend the day crying in a pile of my own snot. <3 I love that boy.
I checked my email after he left. Got a reply from my boss who promises the Spring schedule will be out tomorrow. She had one made, but then two people abandoned us without notice. Still, it's a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
Things are going to be okay. I just have to remember that.
All morning, I ran about the house doing chores. Showering, laundry, dishes, baking, and the like. Dave came over around two and comforted me with his presence. I love having him around. He makes me happy and knows how to calm me down when I get irrationally frightened.
Dad came home about a half hour later to drag us to the bank. I deposited my forty bucks and got the check for my loan. That's all good and settled. One giant step down.
Also, dad gave me his credit card to basically last me through getting basic food supplies and my textbooks while everyone is in Pennsylvania. I'm trustworthy enough that I won't do something absolutely stupid, like buy property on Pluto. That's giant thing two that's been solved.
Dave, Missy, and I spent the night making chicken parmigiana. Between the three of us, it came out really well. I didn't like the sauce we chose, but most of us are short on cash and there wasn't much choice.
Dave and I spent the hour after goofing around until he had to leave. He left with the promise that he'll pick me up tomorrow and not let me spend the day crying in a pile of my own snot. <3 I love that boy.
I checked my email after he left. Got a reply from my boss who promises the Spring schedule will be out tomorrow. She had one made, but then two people abandoned us without notice. Still, it's a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
Things are going to be okay. I just have to remember that.
Weekly Worries
Two days ago, we got a call that my grandfather is dying. He has less than three days. My sister and mother drove to Pennsylvania immediately. Dad and Miranda are going to follow tomorrow. I can't; I have a train to Illinois on Sunday. It just isn't plausible. It friggin' hurts, though. And causes a lot of problems.
So, here are my weekly worries.
1.) I haven't gotten my work schedule yet. What if they fired me without letting me know? How will I make my loan payments next month? What about my car insurance payment? I can't be out of work. I just can't. I emailed Dani last night. Anxiously waiting for a reply.
2.) I need to get to the train station on Sunday. Haven't gotten a text back from Sam on whether or not she works on Sunday, yet. If she does, what am I going to do? I can't miss that train.
3.) I still need to find a way to pay for a train ticket back to NY during Spring break. That's when I'll be doing my FAFSA and taxes, since I haven't received information from Rite Aid or Benedictine.
4.) I'm transferring to UAlbany at the end of this semester, unless I get a decent reason to stay at Benedictine. I have to figure all that out.
5.) Boyfriend is bearing the brunt of all of my stress induced fits of frustration. He's probably going to abandon me, because I'm absolutely ridiculous and crying all the time.
I can't really take the time to think these out individually without freaking out at the moment. So, that's all.
So, here are my weekly worries.
1.) I haven't gotten my work schedule yet. What if they fired me without letting me know? How will I make my loan payments next month? What about my car insurance payment? I can't be out of work. I just can't. I emailed Dani last night. Anxiously waiting for a reply.
2.) I need to get to the train station on Sunday. Haven't gotten a text back from Sam on whether or not she works on Sunday, yet. If she does, what am I going to do? I can't miss that train.
3.) I still need to find a way to pay for a train ticket back to NY during Spring break. That's when I'll be doing my FAFSA and taxes, since I haven't received information from Rite Aid or Benedictine.
4.) I'm transferring to UAlbany at the end of this semester, unless I get a decent reason to stay at Benedictine. I have to figure all that out.
5.) Boyfriend is bearing the brunt of all of my stress induced fits of frustration. He's probably going to abandon me, because I'm absolutely ridiculous and crying all the time.
I can't really take the time to think these out individually without freaking out at the moment. So, that's all.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Lie to Me
I haven't written a story in two months. I started with National Novel Writing Month, realizing nearly immediately that I had five or six papers due that month and quit. My GPA meant more to me than writing for a few weeks. Then I jumped into To Be Read Month and concentrated on reading.
Most of my friends have been posting on Figment Fiction and encouraging me to do so. Without thinking about it, I wrote a quick story and posted it. It hasn't been read over. It hasn't been edited. It is complete brain vomit.
It's from the perspective of a gay male, something that Bailey insists I did well, but I probably didn't. He found his best friend passed out after a game of strip!magic and then treats her to coffee while her boyfriend breaks up with her. It was basically a way for me to get a bunch of sexual quotes into under a thousand words.
Bailey and Laura claim to like it, but they're my friends and somewhat obligated to lie.
My boyfriend, the ultimate magic geek, read it. Didn't like it. If anyone is obligated to lie, it's him. He knows that I've been worried about a lot of things. I haven't had a job this pass month and have tons of bills in February. I don't have my schedule for work yet and I start next week. Our wedding venue crapped out.
He couldn't even give me a white lie to boost a week that's been utter shit.
Guys are morons. I forget this occasionally, but always am reminded.
Most of my friends have been posting on Figment Fiction and encouraging me to do so. Without thinking about it, I wrote a quick story and posted it. It hasn't been read over. It hasn't been edited. It is complete brain vomit.
It's from the perspective of a gay male, something that Bailey insists I did well, but I probably didn't. He found his best friend passed out after a game of strip!magic and then treats her to coffee while her boyfriend breaks up with her. It was basically a way for me to get a bunch of sexual quotes into under a thousand words.
Bailey and Laura claim to like it, but they're my friends and somewhat obligated to lie.
My boyfriend, the ultimate magic geek, read it. Didn't like it. If anyone is obligated to lie, it's him. He knows that I've been worried about a lot of things. I haven't had a job this pass month and have tons of bills in February. I don't have my schedule for work yet and I start next week. Our wedding venue crapped out.
He couldn't even give me a white lie to boost a week that's been utter shit.
Guys are morons. I forget this occasionally, but always am reminded.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Textbooks
I am a brat when it comes to textbooks. While many of my science major friends spill out five to seven hundred dollars every semester, I continually whine about my meager $250.
I finally figured out that they labeled Spring Semester as Winter [Jan 2011] on my University's bookstore web-page. All of my books were posted awhile ago, but I'm happy to have the lists now. I'm already procrastinating on buying them, though.
My biology book was priced around $140 new, $90 for a rental. I found it on Ebay's Half.com for just under 60 bucks. I bought that one, basically because science textbooks scare me. I want that one out of the way. Then the game gets a bit trickier.
My lit 100 class has five books assigned. Total, they end up being fifty bucks. I really don't mind spending this cash, but it's last on my list since they're the least expensive.
Political Science has just one book, $40. It will probably be the next on my list to buy.
Writing 102 has two books assigned, but one of them is just a handbook I had to buy for writing 101. The second book can be rented for $43, or bought for $60. I'll rent it when I get to Illinois.
Finally, I have Speech. Speech is kind of confusing. I can rent it directly from Barnes and Noble for thirty dollars, or get it on my Nook as a rental for fifty. I mean, I'm leaning towards the physical rental, but I could use my bn giftcards to get the Nook version. Debating.
Total price: $240
I finally figured out that they labeled Spring Semester as Winter [Jan 2011] on my University's bookstore web-page. All of my books were posted awhile ago, but I'm happy to have the lists now. I'm already procrastinating on buying them, though.
My biology book was priced around $140 new, $90 for a rental. I found it on Ebay's Half.com for just under 60 bucks. I bought that one, basically because science textbooks scare me. I want that one out of the way. Then the game gets a bit trickier.
My lit 100 class has five books assigned. Total, they end up being fifty bucks. I really don't mind spending this cash, but it's last on my list since they're the least expensive.
Political Science has just one book, $40. It will probably be the next on my list to buy.
Writing 102 has two books assigned, but one of them is just a handbook I had to buy for writing 101. The second book can be rented for $43, or bought for $60. I'll rent it when I get to Illinois.
Finally, I have Speech. Speech is kind of confusing. I can rent it directly from Barnes and Noble for thirty dollars, or get it on my Nook as a rental for fifty. I mean, I'm leaning towards the physical rental, but I could use my bn giftcards to get the Nook version. Debating.
Total price: $240
Offbeat Bride
Without realizing it, I chose the best wedding advice website for myself months ago. Offbeat Bride is a site made specifically for those who are undermining regular social conforms to present a wedding that is unique for the couple's style and personality. There are discussions on how to destroy the word tacky and how to deal with those who believe that tradition should come before happiness. For months, I've stuck to this website without much search for others. Having changed that this morning, I won't do it again.
There are layers and layers of social etiquette laid down by the same people who condemn partners who have had premarital sex and consider a twenty three thousand dollar wedding to be cheap. For a woman who is trying to get out with about seven, all of their requests seem ludicrous.
I googled "cash bar vs. open bar" a few minutes ago. There are pros and cons to each and I've been debating seriously on which to have. Cash bar is cheaper and it isn't like I'll be of age to drink at my wedding anyway. Open bar is more traditional, but leads to guests getting completely wasted and leading to embarrassing things. Now, it might be worth the money just to see some of my friends perform whatever ridiculous stunts they might do. I would have loved a comprehensive list that someone else had thought of too. That isn't what I received at all.
The first two links made me absolutely furious. The point of these websites were to shame any couple who chose to meander from the well-beat, over-used path that weddings usually take.
Cash bar? You'll be considered trash by all your friends and they will never accept you in their social circles again. It's so tacky and everyone will know that you're not rich enough to throw down thousands for every little whim!
Really? If that is what my friends would think of me upon realizing that we're having a cash bar, I'd prefer if they chose not to come to the wedding. In reality, 90% of the guests will be under the drinking age. We would be buying the bar for about 10 people. Unless there is a company willing to only charge for those over 21 attending my wedding, I really don't want to dole out that cash. I'll buy drink tickets and put them in the card specifically for those guests over 21. The other option doesn't make sense.
I didn't stop reading when I should have. The second website I visited immediately started scolding those who choose not to have children at their wedding. Again, this hasn't been on my mind much, but I'm considering cutting out kids from my wedding.
Being that my wedding is going to be in a cave over 500 feet underground, I don't especially want your little ones running around underfoot. Along with that, most of my attendees are under 21. There are only a few who have kids, and most of the ones who do are family. If I have kids coming to the wedding, it will be because I've looked at the roster and realized that there are family members who can't leave their kids four hours away. Plus, most of the kids are over the age of 5 and much less likely to freak out in the caves.
Either way, I should not be chastised for what decisions I choose. It isn't being a bridezilla; it is being realistic. In this economy, there aren't many families who can afford the average $22,000 wedding. For those who would gasp and be appalled at my decisions, feel free to let me know ahead of time so I can cut you from the list.
There are layers and layers of social etiquette laid down by the same people who condemn partners who have had premarital sex and consider a twenty three thousand dollar wedding to be cheap. For a woman who is trying to get out with about seven, all of their requests seem ludicrous.
I googled "cash bar vs. open bar" a few minutes ago. There are pros and cons to each and I've been debating seriously on which to have. Cash bar is cheaper and it isn't like I'll be of age to drink at my wedding anyway. Open bar is more traditional, but leads to guests getting completely wasted and leading to embarrassing things. Now, it might be worth the money just to see some of my friends perform whatever ridiculous stunts they might do. I would have loved a comprehensive list that someone else had thought of too. That isn't what I received at all.
The first two links made me absolutely furious. The point of these websites were to shame any couple who chose to meander from the well-beat, over-used path that weddings usually take.
Cash bar? You'll be considered trash by all your friends and they will never accept you in their social circles again. It's so tacky and everyone will know that you're not rich enough to throw down thousands for every little whim!
Really? If that is what my friends would think of me upon realizing that we're having a cash bar, I'd prefer if they chose not to come to the wedding. In reality, 90% of the guests will be under the drinking age. We would be buying the bar for about 10 people. Unless there is a company willing to only charge for those over 21 attending my wedding, I really don't want to dole out that cash. I'll buy drink tickets and put them in the card specifically for those guests over 21. The other option doesn't make sense.
I didn't stop reading when I should have. The second website I visited immediately started scolding those who choose not to have children at their wedding. Again, this hasn't been on my mind much, but I'm considering cutting out kids from my wedding.
Being that my wedding is going to be in a cave over 500 feet underground, I don't especially want your little ones running around underfoot. Along with that, most of my attendees are under 21. There are only a few who have kids, and most of the ones who do are family. If I have kids coming to the wedding, it will be because I've looked at the roster and realized that there are family members who can't leave their kids four hours away. Plus, most of the kids are over the age of 5 and much less likely to freak out in the caves.
Either way, I should not be chastised for what decisions I choose. It isn't being a bridezilla; it is being realistic. In this economy, there aren't many families who can afford the average $22,000 wedding. For those who would gasp and be appalled at my decisions, feel free to let me know ahead of time so I can cut you from the list.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Dear Mind, Please Shut Up
As my last few days in New York pass through my fingertips, I find myself worrying unnecessarily. Well, mostly unnecessarily. Things that I can't control are interrupting my enjoyable moments and driving me batty.
First of all, I usually get paid on Thursdays rather than the regular Fridays for my job. I'm hoping it is just a glitch in the system since my paycheck hasn't been deposited into my account yet. Due to the fact that we have this rule where you can only work 20 hours a week, I had 14 extras hours that I had to move onto a time-sheet during the break. My boss told me that she would turn it in for me and I can only hope that my trust in her was placed wisely. If not, it's going to be a tough few weeks ahead.
I go to the bank tomorrow to get my second loan. This time it will be in my name, with my father as a cosigner. I already pay the loan payments for the one I have in his name. I'm very worried, to tell the truth. I can't do interest payments on this one if I'm paying for the other one at the same time. I feel like debt is going to consume my life, but I have no choice. I'm not going to drop out of college. I just have to trust the Lord that I won't eventually be out on the streets eating unicorn meat to survive.
My textbooks still haven't been posted. With less than two weeks to the starting date of classes, this is what is worrying me the most. I won't be paying the unrealistic fees that the University Bookstore charges, no sir. I just wish they'd get their butts moving on this. I am extremely impatient and would love to see the books that my literature class will be reading as soon as possible.
My work schedule hasn't been posted either. I've promised myself that I won't call until the eighth, but I can't guarantee anything after that. I know that my boss took off thirteen days over break, so she probably hasn't been back long enough to get a solid schedule between all of the people who work there. Especially since there are quite a few who abandoned us without much notice. I'd just like to have a little proof that I have job security next semester, truthfully.
I think my parents are somewhat caving on my dress. Yesterday night, my dad saw how in love I am with this gown and had me researching how to preserve a dress for a year and a half. My mom said that she'd be able to get the gown at another store, now that it didn't resemble mine so closely. I just hope that the three of us have time to discuss this further before I hop on the train to leave.
Those are all of the things that are running through my mind at every minute of the day. I need to get them settled before I can relax completely. At least it feels better to type them out.
First of all, I usually get paid on Thursdays rather than the regular Fridays for my job. I'm hoping it is just a glitch in the system since my paycheck hasn't been deposited into my account yet. Due to the fact that we have this rule where you can only work 20 hours a week, I had 14 extras hours that I had to move onto a time-sheet during the break. My boss told me that she would turn it in for me and I can only hope that my trust in her was placed wisely. If not, it's going to be a tough few weeks ahead.
I go to the bank tomorrow to get my second loan. This time it will be in my name, with my father as a cosigner. I already pay the loan payments for the one I have in his name. I'm very worried, to tell the truth. I can't do interest payments on this one if I'm paying for the other one at the same time. I feel like debt is going to consume my life, but I have no choice. I'm not going to drop out of college. I just have to trust the Lord that I won't eventually be out on the streets eating unicorn meat to survive.
My textbooks still haven't been posted. With less than two weeks to the starting date of classes, this is what is worrying me the most. I won't be paying the unrealistic fees that the University Bookstore charges, no sir. I just wish they'd get their butts moving on this. I am extremely impatient and would love to see the books that my literature class will be reading as soon as possible.
My work schedule hasn't been posted either. I've promised myself that I won't call until the eighth, but I can't guarantee anything after that. I know that my boss took off thirteen days over break, so she probably hasn't been back long enough to get a solid schedule between all of the people who work there. Especially since there are quite a few who abandoned us without much notice. I'd just like to have a little proof that I have job security next semester, truthfully.
I think my parents are somewhat caving on my dress. Yesterday night, my dad saw how in love I am with this gown and had me researching how to preserve a dress for a year and a half. My mom said that she'd be able to get the gown at another store, now that it didn't resemble mine so closely. I just hope that the three of us have time to discuss this further before I hop on the train to leave.
Those are all of the things that are running through my mind at every minute of the day. I need to get them settled before I can relax completely. At least it feels better to type them out.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Wedding Dresses
Unsurprisingly, the wedding dress that I'd picked out online was nothing like the one that I chose in-store. Sure, the one I'd chosen looked pretty. I just needed the cliche feeling of knowing the dress I was picking out would be one that I'd treasure forever. All of that rot.
And I truly did find my dress, girls. Completely different from what I'd imagined, it has a full skirt and beading on the top. It's strapless. It's gorgeous. I feel gorgeous in it. It is, however, a hundred dollars over what I had before. Worse, it's leaving. It's within its last few months of being sold and my parents are hesitant to put so much money into a gown that they aren't prepared for.
They keep arguing the weight question. What if I lose weight? What if I gain? Both are actually pretty ridiculous, considering I've been within 15 pounds of the same weight since I was a freshman in high school. Most of the freshman fifteen is gained through athletes becoming alcoholics. I was neither active in high school, nor do I drink in college.
This gown is absolutely everything I want it to be. I tried on four or five different styles before hitting this one and I know that it is the one I want to wear down the aisle. If for no other reason, I saw the goofy smiles that both Dave and I wore when I tried it on.
I want to get married in this dress. I just need to find a way how.
And I truly did find my dress, girls. Completely different from what I'd imagined, it has a full skirt and beading on the top. It's strapless. It's gorgeous. I feel gorgeous in it. It is, however, a hundred dollars over what I had before. Worse, it's leaving. It's within its last few months of being sold and my parents are hesitant to put so much money into a gown that they aren't prepared for.They keep arguing the weight question. What if I lose weight? What if I gain? Both are actually pretty ridiculous, considering I've been within 15 pounds of the same weight since I was a freshman in high school. Most of the freshman fifteen is gained through athletes becoming alcoholics. I was neither active in high school, nor do I drink in college.
This gown is absolutely everything I want it to be. I tried on four or five different styles before hitting this one and I know that it is the one I want to wear down the aisle. If for no other reason, I saw the goofy smiles that both Dave and I wore when I tried it on.
I want to get married in this dress. I just need to find a way how.
Planning a Wedding
If anyone had told me I'd be planning a wedding this time last year, I would have laughed in their face. A year has flipped my life like a pancake. I'm no longer like Buffy's cookie dough; I'm warm, gooey, and fully baked.
Planning is a relative term, too. I am planning. I'm making lists, checking budgets, and realistically going through all the motions without putting anything in stone. It is probably somewhat ridiculous, considering I'm not engaged yet. Still, I'm one of the lucky girls who cannot stand surprises and know the exact date that my boyfriend is proposing to me on.
My friends keep asking me why I'm planning things so early, considering the wedding isn't for another year and a half. How can I already have my save the dates picked out, along with my colors and cake? They really don't understand. I'm doing a majority of things myself. I'm trying to keep the budget under six thousand, which is actually really cheap for a wedding.
I'll be making my own cupcakes, with the help of my sister. Seventy five cupcakes in three different flavors: chocolate, vanilla, and red velvet. All topped with homemade butter-cream frosting.
I'll be making my own playlists, saving tons of money that would have been spent on a DJ. I'm going to invest in an older iPod, just to store everything needed, without accidentally putting on Birthday Sex in the middle of the reception.
My mom and I are making the centerpieces ourselves. They're going to be these pretty books, themed by authors.
I do need to start early, if I want to get everything I want done. I'm not going to be the pickiest bride; I refuse to become a bridezilla. However, I much rather get all of the planning done by 2012 and be able to sit on my hands, waiting instead of freaking out over ridiculous details.
Today I get to go to David's Bridal with my best friend and look at the gown I've picked out. It's five hundred dollars and probably the most expensive thing to do with my wedding, other than the reception hall and photographer. There is no way that I'll be buying it today. No way at all.
I would just like to see whether or not it looks as good on me as I think it will. Plus, it's an excuse to be girly for once.
Just this once.
Planning is a relative term, too. I am planning. I'm making lists, checking budgets, and realistically going through all the motions without putting anything in stone. It is probably somewhat ridiculous, considering I'm not engaged yet. Still, I'm one of the lucky girls who cannot stand surprises and know the exact date that my boyfriend is proposing to me on.
My friends keep asking me why I'm planning things so early, considering the wedding isn't for another year and a half. How can I already have my save the dates picked out, along with my colors and cake? They really don't understand. I'm doing a majority of things myself. I'm trying to keep the budget under six thousand, which is actually really cheap for a wedding.
I'll be making my own cupcakes, with the help of my sister. Seventy five cupcakes in three different flavors: chocolate, vanilla, and red velvet. All topped with homemade butter-cream frosting.
I'll be making my own playlists, saving tons of money that would have been spent on a DJ. I'm going to invest in an older iPod, just to store everything needed, without accidentally putting on Birthday Sex in the middle of the reception.
My mom and I are making the centerpieces ourselves. They're going to be these pretty books, themed by authors.
I do need to start early, if I want to get everything I want done. I'm not going to be the pickiest bride; I refuse to become a bridezilla. However, I much rather get all of the planning done by 2012 and be able to sit on my hands, waiting instead of freaking out over ridiculous details.
Today I get to go to David's Bridal with my best friend and look at the gown I've picked out. It's five hundred dollars and probably the most expensive thing to do with my wedding, other than the reception hall and photographer. There is no way that I'll be buying it today. No way at all.
I would just like to see whether or not it looks as good on me as I think it will. Plus, it's an excuse to be girly for once.
Just this once.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New Year Resolutions
I'm not good at New Year Resolutions. In fact, I'm that terrible person who brings a dozen Krispy Kremes into Planet Fitness on January first. I consider myself a realistic person; one who realizes that just spouting out worthless words onto a goal sheet in January won't do anyone any good.
It doesn't stop me from creating New Year Resolutions, though. Mine seem to be similar to a To-Do list, though. Things that will only take a few extra minutes to accomplish, rather than months of effort. I guess it's just a mixture of my laziness and fear of failure that make it so I never fully enjoy resolutions. Whatever it is, I'll stick to my To-Do list.
I have a few resolutions for 2011.
1.) Read 100 Books.
This isn't really hard. I'm nearly done with two and we're only four days into the year. I read forty books during my first semester of college. Still, it sounds amazing to those who don't read often.
2.) Stick with my Vlogging.
The WGCC started a vlog last month. Kelly, Bailey, and I make vlogs every week. I want this vlog to stick and hopefully gain some popularity. We'll see how it goes.
3.) Get a Domain Name.
I want this blog to end up being kenzieaudacious.com by the end of February. I'm certain that Dave will help me with this quest. It shouldn't take long at all.
4.) Keep my GPA Up.
I ended up with a 3.6 for my first semester. I'd love to get it to a 3.8 by the end of the year, but that might be pushing it. I don't want it to drop, though. Anything but having it drop.
Those are my New Year Resolutions. Keep me to them, guys.
It doesn't stop me from creating New Year Resolutions, though. Mine seem to be similar to a To-Do list, though. Things that will only take a few extra minutes to accomplish, rather than months of effort. I guess it's just a mixture of my laziness and fear of failure that make it so I never fully enjoy resolutions. Whatever it is, I'll stick to my To-Do list.
I have a few resolutions for 2011.
1.) Read 100 Books.
This isn't really hard. I'm nearly done with two and we're only four days into the year. I read forty books during my first semester of college. Still, it sounds amazing to those who don't read often.
2.) Stick with my Vlogging.
The WGCC started a vlog last month. Kelly, Bailey, and I make vlogs every week. I want this vlog to stick and hopefully gain some popularity. We'll see how it goes.
3.) Get a Domain Name.
I want this blog to end up being kenzieaudacious.com by the end of February. I'm certain that Dave will help me with this quest. It shouldn't take long at all.
4.) Keep my GPA Up.
I ended up with a 3.6 for my first semester. I'd love to get it to a 3.8 by the end of the year, but that might be pushing it. I don't want it to drop, though. Anything but having it drop.
Those are my New Year Resolutions. Keep me to them, guys.
Hope and Chillzones
Moving to Illinois for my first semester of college was harder than expected. In fact, it was harder than it should have been. Had my college been a school where students chose to stay on campus, rather than returning home every weekend, it would have been fine. However, that wasn't how my situation ended up. My first semester was spent with many lonely nights. I missed my best friend. I missed my boyfriend. I ended up wishing that I'd gone to the local community college, if only to get that sense of membership that I wasn't getting at Benedictine.
That isn't to say that I didn't make any friends, though. I did. Quite a few, in fact. Amy, Michelle, Stephanie, Vy, Nicole, Katherine, and others. There is a supreme problem in most of these relationships, though.
Amy and Vy were my geeky friends. Like me, they both loved Harry Potter. Vy played video games and owned Settlers of Catan. Amy was a publishing major and could swap literary stories. All three of us worked at the library together. All of us were using Benedictine as a stepping stone. Only, they both stepped off too early.
Amy just transferred to Green Valley in another state. She'll visit us from time to time, she promised, but it doesn't make up for the fact that we aren't going to be heading to the movies or Coal Ben anytime soon.
Today, I found out that Vy transferred to College of Dupage. It's only about fifteen minutes from my campus, but it seems like a lifetime away. She was a commuter, so she was barely at Benedictine anyway. Now she's never going to come around.
When it comes down to it, I'm jealous of them. I know I'll be transferring to SUNY Albany or Siena in 2012, but it isn't soon enough. I'm paying out of my butt to go to a University that I'm not enjoying. It just doesn't seem right. By now, I'm only staying there for the hope that I'll be able to get an internship at Sourcebooks next semester. If I don't, it will have all been for naught.
I did mention more friends up there, but here's the thing: We have nothing in common. We threw together this group in the beginning of the semester and clicked a bit. Our personalities don't mesh, though. They're into clothing, into Twilight, into Popular Culture in ways that I'm not. That doesn't make them bad people. These are some of the nicest girls that I've met, ever. That doesn't overcome the fact that they won't understand my Doctor Who comments, or my references to specific magic cards.
I miss having nerd friends. I miss hanging out with people who make jokes about time travel and zombies. I miss having friends who invent games like strip!magic.
I'm hoping next semester will bring a group that comprehends my interests, and shares them. We have a Science Fiction / Fantasy club on campus. The reason I didn't join last semester was because my job conflicted with the times. I'm going to try my hardest to join this year.
Three of my classes are geared specifically towards Writing and Literature majors, so I should be finding people in there that share my passion.
Hope is all I have at this point.
Hope and Chillzones.
That isn't to say that I didn't make any friends, though. I did. Quite a few, in fact. Amy, Michelle, Stephanie, Vy, Nicole, Katherine, and others. There is a supreme problem in most of these relationships, though.
Amy and Vy were my geeky friends. Like me, they both loved Harry Potter. Vy played video games and owned Settlers of Catan. Amy was a publishing major and could swap literary stories. All three of us worked at the library together. All of us were using Benedictine as a stepping stone. Only, they both stepped off too early.
Amy just transferred to Green Valley in another state. She'll visit us from time to time, she promised, but it doesn't make up for the fact that we aren't going to be heading to the movies or Coal Ben anytime soon.
Today, I found out that Vy transferred to College of Dupage. It's only about fifteen minutes from my campus, but it seems like a lifetime away. She was a commuter, so she was barely at Benedictine anyway. Now she's never going to come around.
When it comes down to it, I'm jealous of them. I know I'll be transferring to SUNY Albany or Siena in 2012, but it isn't soon enough. I'm paying out of my butt to go to a University that I'm not enjoying. It just doesn't seem right. By now, I'm only staying there for the hope that I'll be able to get an internship at Sourcebooks next semester. If I don't, it will have all been for naught.
I did mention more friends up there, but here's the thing: We have nothing in common. We threw together this group in the beginning of the semester and clicked a bit. Our personalities don't mesh, though. They're into clothing, into Twilight, into Popular Culture in ways that I'm not. That doesn't make them bad people. These are some of the nicest girls that I've met, ever. That doesn't overcome the fact that they won't understand my Doctor Who comments, or my references to specific magic cards.
I miss having nerd friends. I miss hanging out with people who make jokes about time travel and zombies. I miss having friends who invent games like strip!magic.
I'm hoping next semester will bring a group that comprehends my interests, and shares them. We have a Science Fiction / Fantasy club on campus. The reason I didn't join last semester was because my job conflicted with the times. I'm going to try my hardest to join this year.
Three of my classes are geared specifically towards Writing and Literature majors, so I should be finding people in there that share my passion.
Hope is all I have at this point.
Hope and Chillzones.
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