Want a Bertie Botts Every Flavored Bean? It Tastes Like Failure

I was always raised to pay for things myself.

Don't take that wrong, I didn't have to pay rent at 14 or buy my own Christmas gifts. But extraneous bills for stuff that I wanted were to be my responsibility.

So, at age 13, I bought my first pay-per-minute cell phone and paid with babysitting money every month.

At 16, I got a job and was able to support my social life, cell phone, and anything luxurious that I wanted.

Last semester, I tacked on 600 bucks every six months for car insurance, and 60 bucks a month for loan payments.

This semester, I have 45 bucks a month for cell phone, 400 every six months for car insurance, and 120 for loan payments. Add in having to pay for transportation from Illinois to New York, and my bank account is nil.

My parents took off a major cut of my loan payment this semester. It was 400 naturally, they knocked off 100 after I lost ten hours at work due to snow days. Then Dad knocked off another 50 today. I should feel lucky. I should, and am, thankful. But mostly, I feel like a failure.

I hate not being able to support myself. I cried when Dave paid for my cell phone this month. It makes me feel worthless. It makes me want to stop attending college and go to technical school to get a high paying job immediately. It just sucks.

So, I'm probably being ridiculous, but this is how I feel. Bills have become the bane of my life, as many others. I'm so happy I'm transferring to a cheaper school. One that won't rape my wallet.